I Am Become Mordac, Destroyer Of Projects

I am a spy.  That’s very cool.  More accurately, I am in my own small way a counter-terrorism agent.  For example, when the FBI or CIA speak of success, there is always mention of the prevention of “countless unknown acts of terrorism.”  There’s truth here, and I’m grateful that those invisible agents stand between me and unspeakable unknown harm.   Anyway, that’s kind of what I do. In my own journey of self evaluation, I have recently discovered that my professional success may be measured not by what I can accomplish, but rather what I can prevent from being accomplished.  As a Project Manager, I was originally under the assumption that I was meant to take reasonable requests for products or services and organize them into successful results.  Instead, I spend most of my time collecting enough data and professional input to prove that a requested project is not at all reasonable, but is in fact a very bad idea. Perhaps I’m more like a Jedi Master than a spy.  I have my Jedi mind tricks down to an art form, with my oft used “This isn’t the software you’re looking for.  Move along.” So, when asked how I rate my own success, I guess I should say that I have saved my employer from “countless unknown acts of waste and stupidity.” -kingfish

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Of Dying Dogs

I’ll just get this straight up front – this is not a sappy tribute to our recently departed dog.  Dexter was indeed an awesome dog, and we got him when he was a puppy: Although most folks would remember him in his natural habitat: He lived 10 years, which was several years beyond our expectations (Cavaliers are not the hardiest of breeds), and he had a good run.  In the end, euthanasia was the best choice as cancer made him increasingly uncomfortable.  I have no regrets. What did surprise me, and I have thought several times since that “I wish I knew that ahead of time,” was the actual euthanasia process at the vet’s office.  We have awesome vets.  Those guys are willing to do anything it takes to fix an injured animal, but totally understanding if you don’t plan on taking heroic measures.  They’ve been our vets for nearly ten years now.  This was the first time I had ever put an animal to sleep, and I should have asked more questions.  In my mind, I equated the process to pre-surgery anesthesia, which can be somewhat slow.  I expected to be there for some time as the process worked itself through, and that’s how I prepared emotionally. In the end, there were two things I wish I had known ahead of time: It’s fast.  I mean really fast.  The syringe goes in, the pink goo is injected, and 5 seconds later it’s done.  This is probably a good thing for suffering animals. The eyes don’t close.  The doctor checked for a heartbeat and said “it’s done.”  I looked down, and Dexter’s eyes were still open.  Apparently, you can close them and they’ll pop back open.  That’s not a huge deal, but I wish I had know that ahead of time too. Anyway, it’s not my intent to lay out some sob story about my dog.  I just like to be prepared for stuff (I think it’s a holdover from Boy Scouts).  If you’re the same way, and facing a similar situation, at least now you’ll know what to expect. -kingfish

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